The Lord Giveth, Taketh Away, and Teaseth...

My life the past several weeks has been one of surrender...  I've lost my job, been sleeping on a couch, dependent upon the mercy and generosity of a house full of girls... I've surrendered my desperate "need" for security and plans for a life of day-by-day faith so much so that I am now leaving for Uganda, Ethiopia, and Israel in the next few weeks.  None of this could have happened if I was still working on boats.

One of the hardest parts of my life to surrender has been a certain relationship.  I have struggled with letting God have this part of my life for months.  This person has been purposely out of touch and ignoring me, and it hurt me terribly to experience such closeness with someone, only to have that communication severed so abruptly.  But, after last week's love encounter with God, I realized that my clinging to this person was only keeping me from everything I could be with Jesus.  As my dear friend Christy once told me, "If anything is standing between you and God,say a situation or someone, then God is likely to remove it so you can concentrate on Him. When He is your first love He will give you others..."  I knew that I needed to give this situation to the Lord, and everything would work out as it should.  So, on my loooong drive home last Wednesday, I prayed to God about this person, asking God to have His way, give me strength to focus on Him and not on this other person...  I prayed that on the drive home, too.  I hadn't heard from this person in two months, and I didn't expect to hear from him ever...  But, God had different plans.

When I logged on to facebook tonight, I had a message from him.  After dealing with all the rejection, I couldn't deal with him suddenly popping back into my life.  So, I decided to wait a day or two before replying.  Before I had a chance, he IMed me and I HAD to talk to him then.  Honestly, I'm so glad he did.  We aired out SO much that I had been holding on to...  Even now, as I mentally replay our conversation, I realize that it was all God's work.  I don't anticipate hearing from him again for a while, but I do know that I am resting peacefully tonight because once again, the Lord is proving His power and love for me.